Spilling The Beans On Spill Survival

January 31, 2017

Unconventional Ways To Deal

The fork is an imperfect apparatus. It’s not fully enclosed, making it a challenge to totally secure food. It’s also not very ergonomic, with an over-simplified design that ignores how many fingers we have. It’s clear why the journey of a forkful of food, from plate to mouth, has its ups and downs. When the downs land in our laps, we scramble, dipping paper napkins into our water glasses. We try to play it cool, while we silently stress about whether the newly stained clothing was “dry clean only” or not. But when spills happen, and they will, there are steps we can take to minimize (or MAXIMIZE!) the damage.

Here’s a few non-traditional strategies for de-escalating a stain debacle:

CAMOUFLAGE IN CUISINE

This preemptive strike has you dressing up like your food. Who will know you spilled spaghetti on yourself when you’re dressed like spaghetti? No one—that’s who! Obviously, this is a Mary Bowers, Competitive Eating Season signature move. Competitive eating gets messy, but this is a proven tactic. Food is the little-known uniform of a voracious eater.

DYE-VE RIGHT IN

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For every unexpected adventure in life, there lies a point of no return. So you spilled red wine on your favorite white blouse? Meet your new favorite red blouse. This strategy is all about running with disaster, and finding the reward of your creativity on the other side. Most natural dyes are food sources! Beet juice, Kool Aide, Tea and Wine can all be used to dye fabric. Sometimes an accident is the gentle nudge you need to have a lightning-bulb moment for DIY brilliance.

DENY DENY DENY!

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If confronted, simply say, “actually, that’s a part of the design.” Remember how shocking it was to your grandparents when you would buy jeans with the holes already in them? Welp, some “mishaps” can look awfully intentional. So perhaps that diamond shaped red splotch isn’t a strawberry stain at all, but a part of the edgy new look!

FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE

The very foods that produce stains, may produce cleanliness too! Did you know coffee grounds can be used to get water rings off your wooden furniture? Just mix the grounds with a little water to make a paste, then gently rub them into the water marks. Lemons will freshen your laundry. Mayonnaise will get grease off you in a minute. Vinegar will clean the entire world. Foods have epic properties. Remember that for every stain food causes, there’s one that food can eliminate. This is a great reminder that everything has balance.

As in eating, so it is in life: take things one bite at a time.