The Lettuce, The Wings, And The Wardrobe

July 4, 2017

Chronicles Of Mary Bowers’ Magical Style Evolution

The Lettuce, The Wings, and the Wardrobe

Once upon a time, there was a girl named Mary. One bright morning, she was skipping across the cobblestones in the charming village she called “home”. She knew all of the shop owners and loved the familiar storefronts with their beautiful displays. Or so she thought. On this particular morning, an unfamiliar antique shop caught her eye. Curious, she bunny hopped her way into the store. She skimmed her way through dusty books and paused to look at tarnishing jewelry until she saw it. The old, hand-carved mahogany wardrobe beckoned her from across the room.

The storekeeper, at first, refused to sell it, for the wardrobe could only be sold to someone truly worthyMary, entranced by the mysterious wardrobe, persisted. “Are you sure you can handle magic?”, the store owner asked. “Yes! Of course I can!”, Mary exclaimed. “I made my breakfast disappear before I came here,” she stated confidently. The owner nodded. She had convinced him that she could be trusted.

She traded 20 Nathan’s Famous Hot Dogs — she always carries them around as they make great snacks AND currency — and in return, was given the wardrobe, along with instructions to put clothing hangers inside. “How else would I put my clothes in there?” Mary sighed as she rolled her eyes. Putting clothes on hangers was the obvious thing to do. “No,” the storekeeper insisted firmly. “No clothes; just the hangers. And line the bottom of the wardrobe with vegetable, fruit, nut and wheat seeds.” The shopkeeper offered no further explanation, as he gestured toward the door.

Understanding his not so subtle hint, Mary left the shop, a little confused, and a lot excited. After the delivery truck had dropped off her wardrobe, all alone, in the privacy of her home, Mary did as she was told.

The next morning, not sure what to expect, Mary approached her wardrobe cautiously, and slowly opened its doors…. to nothing but 10 empty wire hangers and scattered vegetable seeds. Mary stomped across the room, remorseful over trading in her precious hot dogs. How could she have been so naïve? Maybe the thing was broken. Maybe the shop owner had lied. Or maybe, there was no such thing as magic. She really wanted to believe something special could happen. Her anger had simmered down into a sinking sadness. It seemed that her hopes had amounted to nothing. She closed the doors to the wardrobe and began to cry.

As tears streamed down her face, a pretty pink glow began to shine from inside the wardrobe. The glow grew brighter until the doors of the large, wooden antique, opened with one big burst of glittery rainbows, and * GASP. *

The wardrobe was no longer bare. On each of the hangers was a beautiful gown, skirt, or top. Extraordinary hats lined the top shelf. Mary’s tears had turned into hope. Magic was real! Why did the magical clothes smell so delicious? To Mary’s delight, she realized the clothes were made of food, grown by the wardrobe into magnificent, delicious styles. She skipped her fingers across the fettuccine fabrics, bow tie pasta, and spaghetti spandex.

Mary’s magical wardrobe provided her with the foodie fashion, and power, to take Major League Eating by storm. As competitive eating’s number one trend-setter, Mary has had quite the fashion filled journey through the rankings. Here’s how her styles have ripened over time.





What’s your favorite of Mary’s foodie fashions? And if you had a magical closet that created the * something * of your dreams, what would it create? Let us know in the comments!


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